The Last Slumber Party (Stephen Tyler, 1988)

Like its dead-eyed “teenage” actors, who all appear to have been gnawing on valium and sipping on Jack Daniels before being asked to react to the unthreatening sight of a bug-eyed lobotomized “maniac” wearing sweaty hospital scrubs and menacinglessly showing them a dull scalpel, this film stumbles endlessly through a “hijink”-filled narrative via trainwreck plotting, numbskull dialogue, and some truly dogshit sound design. The slasher cycle burned itself out in the late end of the 1980s with straight-to-video films like this; would that the cycle went to sleep with the fascinating hilarity of a child’s head nodding to the rhythms of Morpheus, rather than with the drowsy ennui of an amateur production of No Exit.

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